This article was originally published on Crafting Your Home. A human contributor also wrote and edited the post.
Making friends as an adult has become surprisingly difficult across America. One national friendship study found that 51% of Americans believe making new friends is hard, while 62% said forming friendships felt easier during an earlier period of their lives.
Even among people satisfied with the number of friends they have, many still wish they had more time and deeper connections with them.
The state someone calls home may influence how easily those first conversations begin. A Preply survey of 1,017 Americans examined how residents greet strangers, respond to unfamiliar people, and express warmth through gestures such as smiling, waving, and making eye contact.
The results do not measure the number of friendships residents successfully form, but they offer a useful snapshot of where newcomers may receive the warmest first impression.
Here are the states that stood out for the right reasons, along with the places where breaking through the social wall may require more effort.
Vermont appears to offer America’s warmest welcome
Vermont ranked as the most welcoming state in the survey, placing it at the top of the list for people hoping to encounter open and approachable residents. Maine followed closely behind, giving northern New England an unexpectedly strong showing.
That may surprise Americans who associate friendliness mainly with Southern hospitality. Vermont’s social advantage may be less about loud enthusiasm and more about simple acknowledgment.
A smile, wave, or brief conversation can make a major difference to someone arriving without an established circle.
Still, friendliness should not be confused with instant friendship. Vermont may offer pleasant introductions, but newcomers must still turn repeated encounters into real relationships through work, neighborhood events, volunteering, or shared interests.
Maine proves that friendliness does not always mean chattiness
Maine ranked second among America’s most welcoming states, suggesting newcomers may encounter polite and hospitable residents. However, another survey produced a fascinating contradiction: Maine was also among the states where residents reported being most annoyed by small talk.
That does not necessarily mean Mainers are cold. It may mean they prefer conversations with purpose rather than endless comments about traffic or the weather. Someone may happily help a neighbor, offer directions, or welcome a newcomer while having little interest in forced elevator chatter.
For adults seeking new friendships, Maine’s message may be clear: skip the rehearsed conversation and connect through something genuine. Community work, outdoor recreation, and local groups may open more doors than approaching strangers with random questions.
Hawaii brings warmth across the Pacific
Hawaii completed the survey’s top three, reinforcing its image as a state where welcoming behavior remains part of everyday social life. In a country where 30% of respondents said they do not smile at strangers, receiving even a small gesture of acknowledgment can make a newcomer feel less invisible.
Hawaii’s ranking does not mean every arrival will immediately enter a close social circle. Strong local relationships may take patience, respect, and consistent participation. A friendly reception is an opening, not automatic acceptance.
Even so, that opening matters. When residents appear willing to smile, greet newcomers, or acknowledge unfamiliar faces, people may feel more comfortable returning to the same gathering, starting another conversation, and slowly building trust.
Ohio, Alabama, and Florida may be the easiest places to start talking
Vermont, Maine, and Hawaii led the welcoming survey, but a separate study of 2,133 Americans produced another useful measure: where people engage in the most small talk. Ohio finished first, followed by Alabama and Florida.
Small talk can feel shallow, but it often provides the first step toward something more meaningful. A comment at the office, a conversation while waiting in line, or a quick exchange at a neighborhood event can create familiarity. Familiarity makes the next conversation less awkward.
The survey found that 39% of Americans engage in small talk every day, although half consider it awkward and 57% would sometimes rather sit in silence. That tension helps explain why making friends can feel exhausting even in busy communities filled with potential connections.
Missouri ranks as the toughest place to break the ice
Missouri landed at the bottom of the welcoming-state ranking. It also appeared among the three states where residents engage in the least small talk, alongside Texas and Idaho. That double appearance makes Missouri the clearest candidate for the hardest state in which to get an easy conversation started.
The result should not be read as proof that Missourians are unfriendly or incapable of forming close relationships.
Survey rankings capture broad tendencies, not the personality of every resident. Missouri contains large cities, suburbs, college towns, and rural communities with very different social cultures.
However, newcomers may find that waiting for someone else to make the first move produces disappointing results. Joining an organized activity may work better than relying on spontaneous conversations with strangers.
Massachusetts may make newcomers earn their place
Massachusetts ranked as the second-least welcoming state in Preply’s findings. For someone entering a fast-moving environment around Boston or another busy employment center, everyday interactions may feel rushed, direct, or emotionally distant.
Yet direct communication is not automatically hostile. Regional habits differ, and gestures considered normal in one state may appear dismissive somewhere else.
Preply’s language expert cautioned that places that use fewer welcoming gestures may simply communicate differently rather than be genuinely unfriendly.
The challenge may therefore involve learning the local rhythm. Friendships could develop through repeated contact at work, school, fitness groups, or neighborhood organizations rather than through casual interactions on the street.
Illinois finishes among the least welcoming states
Illinois placed third from the bottom in the welcoming ranking. The result may feel familiar to newcomers who have experienced the anonymity of a large metropolitan area, where thousands of people can pass one another without making eye contact.
That does not make friendship impossible. Large cities can offer an enormous range of clubs, cultural groups, sports leagues, and professional networks. The difficulty is that having more people nearby does not guarantee meaningful interaction.
Harvard researchers found that 21% of U.S. adults feel lonely, with many reporting disconnection from friends, relatives, or society. Among lonely adults, 61% said they lacked enough close friends or family, while 67% did not feel connected to meaningful groups.
The rankings reveal a bigger American problem
The most important conclusion is not that one state is full of wonderful people while another is socially hopeless. It is that millions of Americans need more reliable places and opportunities to connect.
In Harvard’s national survey, 75% of adults said they wanted more enjoyable community activities and more accessible public spaces designed around connection, including parks and playgrounds. The same share believed community service or helping others could reduce loneliness.
That suggests the best place for making friends may not always be the state with the warmest reputation. It may be the neighborhood where residents see one another repeatedly, public spaces encourage conversation, and newcomers have a reason to return.
If you like what you just read, then subscribe to our newsletter and follow us on social media.
