Living together before marriage, or instead of it, has become a near-universal chapter of American adulthood. A Pew Research Center analysis finds that 77% of adults in their late 30s and early 40s have shared a home with an unmarried partner at some point.
The typical stay is short. Pew found the median such relationship lasts 18 months before it ends in marriage or a breakup, which makes cohabitation more of a chapter than a destination for many couples.
77% Have Lived With an Unmarried Partner
The analysis, a short read written by Jake Hays and published Aug. 12, 2026, looks at adults ages 38 to 43, according to Pew Research Center. It finds that 77% have lived with an unmarried partner, and that 37% have done so with two or more different partners.
The picture shifts with the relationship history. Pew reports that 40% of ever-cohabiters lived with one partner, 22% with two and 15% with three or more. A look at how American households changed from 1960 to 2025 shows how far living arrangements have traveled, and social norms that should be abandoned includes plenty of old expectations about moving in.
The rate varies by background. Pew found that 82% of adults with a high school diploma or less have cohabited, compared with 78% of those with some college and 70% of those with a bachelor’s degree or more. By race and ethnicity, 79% of White, 74% of Hispanic and 71% of Black adults have lived with an unmarried partner.
Where the Numbers Come From
The data come from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1997, a panel study run by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Its BLS description says the survey began with 8,984 respondents born from 1980 through 1984, and that it has covered topics such as dating, marriage and cohabitation.
Pew limited the sample to respondents interviewed in 2023, with interviews running from September 2023 to September 2024. Because the same people report when each cohabitation started and ended at interviews every year or two, the authors consider the results more reliable than asking people in their late 30s and early 40s to recall every past partnership.
Anyone curious about the couples side of the story may enjoy the habits of couples still madly in love, which reads as a counterpoint to the data.
An 18-Month Median, With a Long Tail
Pew said the median cohabiting relationship lasts 18 months before ending in marriage or breakup. That is a Kaplan-Meier estimate that includes relationships still ongoing when the survey ended. There is a long tail: 26% have had at least one cohabitation lasting five years or more, and 8% have had one lasting 10 years or more.
Long cohabitations are more common in some groups. Pew found that 34% of adults with a high school education or less have had one lasting five years or more, compared with 26% of those with some college and 17% of those with a bachelor’s degree or more. The share was 35% among Hispanic adults, 26% among Black adults and 24% among White adults.
Timing matters as well. Among those who ever cohabited, 27% moved in with a partner before age 20, 39% between 20 and 24, 21% between 25 and 29 and 13% at 30 or older, Pew said.
What Happens Next: Marriage or Not
Many of these couples did eventually marry, in a country where even odd American traditions still frame how weddings are planned. Pew reports that 67% of ever-cohabiters married a partner they lived with, and of those, 70% married their first cohabiting partner. Another 5% married someone they never lived with, while 28% have not married.
Education shows up again here: 77% of those with a bachelor’s degree or more married a cohabiting partner, versus 66% of those with some college and 59% with a high school education or less. By race and ethnicity, the figures were 73% for White, 59% for Hispanic and 46% for Black adults.
Those patterns sit against a backdrop of later weddings. The Census Bureau’s 2025 tip sheet on families puts the median age at first marriage at 30.8 for men and 28.4 for women, up from 23.5 and 21.1 in 1975. A longer look at the median age at first marriage traces that climb.
Limits Worth Knowing
Pew cautions that the findings describe people ages 38 to 43 in 2023 and may not apply to other age groups. The analysis does not explain why differences by education and race exist, and figures may not sum exactly because of rounding.
The takeaway is still clear: by their early 40s, living with a partner outside marriage is the norm, not the exception. Money is a frequent flashpoint once couples share an address, as research on money fights in marriage suggests, and women who know their worth and common adult regrets offer food for thought for anyone weighing the next step.
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This article was produced with AI assistance and edited for accuracy against the sources linked above.
Image: Alice Donovan Rouse (@alicekat) – CC0/Wikimedia Commons
