10 Timeless Dating Tips That Can Transform Your Love Life
A couple enjoying breakfast at a cafe, with one person taking a photo of the other, bright and cozy atmosphere
In the world of romance, we often seek advice from friends, family, or modern dating apps. However, we might find a treasure trove of wisdom in the pages of history.
From the art of subtle flirtation to unique courtship rituals, the past offers valuable insights into fostering successful relationships. In this guide, we revisit some timeless dating tips that have stood the test of time and explore how they can improve your love life today.
The Subtle Art of Flirting
Dating in the 18th century involved some incredibly inventive forms of communication.
One such method was the use of fans. While fans were primarily accessories to complement a woman’s attire, they also became tools of flirtation, especially in Europe.
Women in high society developed an intricate “fan language” to convey secret messages to their admirers.
Here’s how it worked:
- Open fan covering the face: A silent declaration of love.
- Fan in the left hand: A subtle request for conversation.
- Twisting the fan in the left hand: A warning that they were being observed.
This secret code enabled lovers to engage in subtle exchanges despite society’s constraints.
Today, while fans may no longer be the tool of choice, mastering subtle signals can still be an effective way to build chemistry in the early stages of a relationship.
Finding True Love Through Shared Interests
In ancient Babylon, there was a fascinating tradition known as the marriage market, which aimed to ensure that everyone found a partner, regardless of social standing or appearance.
Men would bid for their brides, and the auction process helped pair women with suitable partners.
Beautiful women often received high bids, while others, considered less attractive or older, were sold for lower prices, with the money from their auction often used to support poorer couples.
Although the method might seem outdated, there’s an underlying principle to this practice that remains relevant today: finding a partner who aligns with your values and goals.
Rather than simply relying on physical attraction, focus on shared interests, values, and long-term compatibility to find the best partner for you.
Speak in Code
When it comes to expressing love, finding ways to communicate without anyone else knowing can be incredibly romantic.
One historical example comes from Thomas Edison, who, in his courtship of his second wife, Mina Miller, used Morse code to communicate with her in secret.
This unique form of communication allowed them to express their love and affection without Mina’s father’s scrutiny.
In modern times, you can take a cue from this clever technique by using personal codes or inside jokes with your partner. This level of intimacy creates a unique bond that only the two of you share.
The Importance of First Impressions
In the past, a suitor’s behavior in front of a potential partner’s family was of utmost importance. This was especially true for those seeking approval to marry. The case of Hippocleides of Attica is a cautionary tale.
In ancient Greece, Hippocleides had been the favored suitor to marry the daughter of a tyrant, but after getting drunk at a banquet, he made a fool of himself by performing embarrassing antics, such as handstands to music.
His actions led to the famous phrase: “dancing away your wife.” His disqualifying behavior not only cost him the chance at marriage but also taught a valuable lesson about composure and respect in important moments.
In today’s world, while not everyone needs to impress their partner’s parents right away, demonstrating respect and self-control in the presence of those who matter to your partner is crucial to building a lasting relationship.
Be Practical in Love
Some of the most successful historical relationships involved straightforward, practical approaches to love. The ancient Egyptians, for instance, practiced a very simple form of marriage.
If a woman moved her belongings into her partner’s home, it signified that they were officially married, without the need for elaborate ceremonies or rituals.
Furthermore, Egyptian marriages often involved prenuptial agreements that outlined property and responsibilities in the event of separation. While love and romance were present, the relationship was underpinned by clear expectations and practical solutions.
Today, a similar approach to modern relationships, where partners communicate openly about expectations, goals, and responsibilities, can go a long way in building trust and avoiding unnecessary complications.
Build Strong Partnerships
Historically, women were often relegated to domestic roles, but the Teutonic tribes had a unique take on partnership.
Women were expected not only to manage household duties but also to accompany their husbands into battle.
They were fully involved in their partners’ lives, performing tasks like feeding soldiers and tending to the wounded, but they could also take up arms when necessary.
This commitment to spending quality time together, even under the harshest circumstances, showed the strength of the Teutonic partnership.
Modern relationships thrive on spending time together, experiencing life’s challenges side by side, and supporting each other through thick and thin.
Whether it’s supporting your partner’s dreams or navigating tough situations together, the key to a lasting relationship is sharing experiences that strengthen your bond.
When All Else Fails
Throughout history, many cultures have relied on aphrodisiacs to increase attraction, enhance libido, and even foster love.
From potions made with marigolds to concoctions using periwinkle and leeks, people believed that certain ingredients had magical properties that could kindle the flame of love.
Although some of these mixtures were probably no more effective than modern-day placebo treatments, there is still merit in the belief that some foods and herbs can promote vitality and connection.
Today, indulging in meals that promote physical intimacy, like dark chocolate, strawberries, or other aphrodisiac foods, can be a fun, lighthearted way to bond with your partner while adding a touch of romance to your relationship.
Written Words
In an age where digital communication is king, the art of writing heartfelt letters or poems has faded somewhat. However, historical figures like the Vikings knew the true power of words.
Their sagas were filled with passionate love stories, and the written word often played a role in their courtships.
The Vikings also believed that love transcended death. Many sagas recount stories of lovers who would even choose to die together to keep their promises.
While modern society may not expect such extreme demonstrations of devotion, the power of a heartfelt letter or poem remains as potent as ever.
If you find it difficult to express your emotions verbally, consider writing down your feelings in a poem, letter, or song. Thoughtfully written words can make a significant impact on your partner and communicate affection in a meaningful way.
Understand Your Partner’s Needs
Lastly, one of the most profound pieces of dating advice from history comes from the French novelist Honoré de Balzac, who explored the science of marriage.
While his advice about “dissecting” a woman to understand her anatomy might seem outdated and inappropriate, the underlying message, about truly understanding your partner’s needs, still holds true.
Rather than focusing on superficial traits, invest time and energy in understanding your partner’s emotional and psychological needs.
Empathy, communication, and an understanding of each other’s desires are crucial to building a successful, lasting relationship.
The Art of Gift Giving
The tradition of gift-giving has long been part of romantic courtship.
In Renaissance Italy, exchanging gifts like woven belts or brooches became a common way for couples to express affection. These gifts often held symbolic meanings, including fertility or romantic love.
Even without the expectation of marriage, thoughtful, personalized gifts can be a meaningful way to show your partner you care.
The key is to ensure that the gifts are meaningful and thoughtful, rather than simply expensive.
Conclusion
While times have changed, the wisdom of the past remains invaluable in modern relationships.
By incorporating some of these timeless dating tips, from subtle flirtation to building strong partnerships, you can cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections with your partner.
The key is to learn from history’s romantic endeavors while adapting those lessons to today’s world. By embracing these insights, you can improve your love life and create a relationship that stands the test of time.
