7 Outdated Manners That Make Younger Generations Cringe
As etiquette norms shift, many once-respected manners are now sparking discomfort among younger generations.
Social etiquette is a lot like milk in your fridge; it has an expiration date, and once it goes bad, it leaves a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. While older generations often view specific formalities as signs of respect, younger folks can see them as stiff, inefficient, or even downright rude. This generational friction usually leads to awkward family dinners where intentions are good, but the execution lands flat.
The divide is not just in our heads; it is backed by complex numbers showing how differently we view communication and respect. According to a Fortune report, 1 in 5 Gen Zers hasn’t had a single conversation with someone over 50 at work in the last year. Bridging this gap requires understanding that what feels polite to a Boomer might feel like a personal intrusion to someone younger.
The Cold Call Without A Warning Text
For decades, picking up the telephone was the standard way to maintain a relationship or get a quick answer. However, for a generation raised on asynchronous text messaging, an unscheduled phone call feels like someone barging into your living room, demanding immediate attention. It interrupts the flow of their day and demands emotional energy that they may not have budgeted for at that moment.
The anxiety surrounding voice calls is objective and quantifiable, driven by a desire for control over communication. Data from a 2025 survey by Harmony Healthcare IT reveals that Gen Z spends an average of 6 hours and 27 minutes on their phone daily, yet many view actual voice calls as a source of stress. If you want to chat, the polite, modern move is to text first to check if they are free.
The Performative Gendered Chivalry
Holding a door open or pulling out a chair used to be the gold standard of a gentleman, but these gestures can land differently today. In a professional setting, aggressively insisting on “ladies first” can feel patronizing rather than polite. It highlights gender in situations where everyone wants to be treated as equals.
That is not to say kindness is dead, but the motive matters more than the tradition. True politeness is offering help to anyone who needs it, regardless of gender, rather than following a 1950s script. It is better to view courtesy as a universal gift you offer to everyone, not just women.
The Checkbook Checkout Hold Up
We have all been stuck in line at the grocery store behind someone meticulously filling out a paper check for a carton of milk. While this might feel like a responsible way to track your spending, it creates a bottleneck that frustrates everyone else. Younger shoppers view this as an inefficient use of time, especially when tap-to-pay options are instant.
The stats prove that paper checks are rapidly becoming a relic of the past in our digital economy. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, check payments dropped from 6% in 2015 to just 2.5% of consumer transactions by 2024. Furthermore, the same 2025 report highlights that over 90% of consumers now prefer not to use checks for bill pay, signaling a massive shift in how we handle money.
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The Unannounced “Pop In” Visit
There was a time when dropping by a friend’s house unannounced was seen as a charming surprise or a friendly gesture. Today, showing up at someone’s door without a heads-up is widely considered a violation of privacy and boundaries. People treat their home as a sanctuary from the chaos of the outside, and an unexpected doorbell ring triggers panic rather than joy.
This shift is mainly due to the busier, more exhausted state of modern living, where downtime is a precious commodity. Modern etiquette dictates that you should treat someone’s time like a strict savings plan and never make a withdrawal without asking permission first. A quick text to confirm availability prevents the awkwardness of catching someone in their pajamas or mid-nap.
The Silence Around Salaries
Old-school manners taught us that discussing your paycheck was crass, and polite people kept their financial details private. Younger generations have completely flipped this script, viewing salary transparency as a crucial tool for fighting inequality. They talk openly about what they earn to ensure everyone is getting a fair deal from their employers.
This openness extends to their broader life goals, where financial security is often discussed with refreshing bluntness. A 2025 Preply report indicates that 83% of Gen Z would choose money and financial stability over love, suggesting a pragmatic approach to life planning. Keeping your income a secret is no longer seen as modest; it is seen as a way to keep wages low.
The Body “Compliment”
Telling someone, “You look great, have you lost weight?” was once considered high praise and a nice confidence boost. Now, commenting on someone’s body size, even positively, is often viewed as intrusive and potentially harmful. You never know if someone’s weight loss is due to illness, stress, or an eating disorder.
It is safer and kinder to focus compliments on choices rather than biology, such as style, energy, or achievements. We must understand that commenting on someone’s physical changes can carry heavy baggage that we cannot see. The best approach is to avoid the topic entirely and focus on the person inside.
The Strict Office Dress Code
For Baby Boomers, wearing a suit and tie was often seen as a necessary investment in one’s career and a sign of professionalism. To Millennials and Gen Z, however, rigid dress codes usually signal an obsession with appearance over actual output and talent. They prioritize comfort and self-expression, believing that a hoodie doesn’t negatively impact their ability to code, write, or manage a team.
Companies that cling to these old-school sartorial rules risk alienating top talent who value flexibility. A 2023 survey by Randstad US found that 33% of workers would rather quit their job or turn down an offer than wear business professional attire every day. Comfort is king, and forcing formal wear is the fastest way to look out of touch.
Key Takeaway
Adapting to modern manners does not mean abandoning your values, but it does require reading the room. The core of good etiquette remains the same: making the people around you feel comfortable and respected. What has changed is the mechanism for delivering that respect, shifting from formal rituals to efficiency and boundaries.
If you find yourself confused by these new rules, remember that communication is the best policy. Asking someone how they prefer to be contacted or addressed is the ultimate sign of respect in 2025. By being open to these changes, you ensure your interactions remain warm and welcome, rather than cringeworthy.
