Long-distance relationships have a bad reputation. People assume they’re harder to maintain, less satisfying, and more likely to fall apart than relationships where couples live in the same city. But a growing body of research on
long-distance couples tells a more complicated story. Distance brings real challenges, but it doesn’t automatically
doom a relationship. What matters more is how couples communicate and adapt. Here are eight things that research and relationship experts suggest can make long-distance relationships easier to sustain.
Texting Regularly Really Does Help
It might feel like a small thing, but frequent texting appears to carry real weight for long-distance couples specifically. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships by researchers Nathan
Holtzman, Kostadin Kushlev, Alexandria Wozny, and Ryan Godard found that more frequent and responsive texting predicted significantly greater relationship satisfaction among people in long-distance relationships. This
pattern did not show up the same way for couples living close together. For long-distance partners, a steady stream of texts throughout the day may do more relationship “work” than people give it credit for.
Don’t Assume Video Calls Are the Gold Standard
Many couples treat video calls as the most important way to stay connected across distance. But that same 2021 study found something surprising: video-call frequency wasn’t significantly related to relationship satisfaction for
either long-distance or geographically close couples. That doesn’t mean video calls are bad. It just suggests that
racking up video-chat time isn’t automatically the key to feeling close. Consistent, responsive communication in whatever form fits your schedule may matter more than the format itself.
Voice Calls May Matter Less from a Distance Than You’d Think
Interestingly, the same research found that voice call frequency was linked to greater satisfaction for couples who
live near each other, but not for long-distance couples. That’s a useful reminder that what works for
geographically close relationships doesn’t always translate directly to long-distance ones. Long-distance couples may benefit from figuring Out their own communication rhythm rather than assuming they need to replicate an
in-person relationship over the phone.
Real, Honest Conversations Build Intimacy
Distance can actually push couples toward deeper conversations. A widely cited 2013 study by researchers L. Crystal Jiang of City University of Hong Kong and Jeffrey Hancock of Cornell University, published in the Journal of Communication, found that long-distance couples often reported higher levels of intimacy than
geographically close couples. According to the researchers, this was linked to long-distance partners disclosing more about themselves and communicating in ways that helped them feel understood, since they couldn’t lean on
simply being in the same room. The takeaway: when physical presence isn’t an option, talking openly about your day, your feelings, and what’s on your mind can fill that gap in meaningful ways.
Related: 8 careers-that-face-higher-divorce-risks
Time Apart Doesn’t Have to Mean a Weaker Relationship
One of the most reassuring findings in long-distance relationship research comes from a 1995 study by Gregory Guldner and Clifford Swensen, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Comparing 194
people in long-distance relationships with 190 people in geographically close relationships, the researchers found
no significant difference in relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, or commitment between the two groups. In other words, spending less time together in person did not weaken long-distance relationships on these measures. That’s worth remembering on the days distance feels discouraging.
Trust Can Grow Even Without Constant Togetherness
Related research in this same body of work has noted that long-distance couples can report equal or even higher
levels of trust compared to couples who live near each other. Researchers studying long-distance relationships have suggested this may connect to the more intentional, disclosure-heavy communication that distance tends to
encourage. Trust in a long-distance relationship often gets built the same way it does in any relationship: through consistency, follow-through, and honest conversation, just conducted more often through a screen than in person.
Plan Visits, But Don’t Panic If They’re Infrequent
Seeing each other in person still matters emotionally, even if research suggests it isn’t the single deciding factor in relationship satisfaction. Many couples find it helpful to have a visit or reunion to look forward to, since it
gives both partners something concrete to plan around. The research above suggests you don’t need to see each
other constantly for the relationship to feel solid, but having a plan, even a loose one, can make the distance feel more manageable day to day.
Keep Building a Life of Your Own
This one isn’t drawn from a specific study. Still, it’s a theme that shows up again and again in relationship guidance: maintaining your own friendships, hobbies, and routines while in a long-distance relationship tends to
make the distance easier to handle. It keeps you from placing all of your emotional needs on a relationship that, by its nature, can’t offer daily physical presence. A full life on your end can make the time you do spend
connecting with your partner feel more like a highlight than a lifeline.
Related: 10-key-communication-skills-for-thriving-relationships
The Bottom Line
Long-distance relationships come with real challenges, but the research doesn’t support the idea that they’re doomed to be worse than relationships where couples live close together. What seems to matter most is how
intentionally couples communicate: staying in touch through frequent texting, having honest conversations,
building trust over time, and not assuming that physical closeness is the only path to feeling connected. Distance changes how a relationship works. It doesn’t have to change how strong it is.
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The post 8 Things That Can Actually Make a Long-Distance Relationship Easier first appeared on Crafting Your Home.
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